C and D

C and D

Thursday, May 30, 2013


Before I forget this I want to get it out.

Declan LOVES music. Just like his mommy. One of his (and my) favorite things to do right now is cuddle up on the couch together and go thru my iPod. We will go from one song to the next, listening and every.single.time he asks me "i don't know this about mommy????" and he wants me to tell him a story :) i try to not dumb it down, although i'm sure for the most part he's like ok ok ok suuuuuureeee next song!

But seriously, we sit there, he changes the song, we talk about what the girl or guy is singing about and then we cuddle and listen until the next one. To say I love this time with him is a monster understatement.

We were driving in the car today and a Pink song came on. I'm sure y'all have heard it, the radios play it every hour I swear..."Just give me a reason" and Declan's all "Oh mommy its our song!!!" It is not our song, we just hear it 843 times a day.

He knows what its about and he said "oh mommy, this song about breaking your heart......" and got a sad face and when he said "breaking your heart" all of a sudden my eyes started watering and I got that tingle/burn in my nose, ya know the one right before you start to cry but you're trying to hold it back...

Oh my word.......I have no idea, I think it was just hearing my sweet little innocent boy talking about having a broken heart that killed mine.

These days bring their own type of "hard" but I know its really nothing compared to how it will be when the boys are older and off out of my control 24 hrs a day, making their own friends, making their own decisions, giving their heart away to people who will no doubt, intentionally or unintentionally (I will hurt all of them btw), break their hearts...............

There is nothing. Repeat, nothing, that makes me more ill than seeing my child struggle or hurt. And they haven't really faced that much yet...so far they are pretty cool, cute little dudes, but I know its coming, and I am already praying for the strength to just let it happen because that is how they will learn. But oh..............

Break my heart.