I remember, before Declan came, how nervous I was about how Paul and i's life was about to change. We had a very simple life, but I loved it. Every part of it. We were and still are very much homebodies - my favorite things were always cooking new meals we had either learned at one of our cooking classes or saw on a show and then laying around watching movies. We would do this all.the.time. It was simple but I loved it and I was terrified of what a baby would do to upset that balance. I would say for the first few weeks too that I was a little resentful towards decky because it did indeed throw a very large wrench in our life. There was no more "Paul and Alli hang out time" and I missed it terribly.
Well fast forward to today, 2 years later, and we have a new version of this "simple life". It was an absolutely gorgeous day which turned into a really nice night so after deckys nap we went out on the front porch and watched all the cars drive by over the "bump bump" - speed bump - its one of his favorite things ever. I was looking thru a cooking magazine that had come in the mail and he was collecting rocks, driving his truck on the porch and jumping off the stairs..... And every once in awhile he would randomly come over and give me a hug. A big hug. One where he would lay on me and become dead weight :) not the most comfortable but totally the best hugs from your toddler. And I had this thought flash thru my mind again...... We have such a simple life right now. And it's about to be turned upside down. And I'm frightened. Just like I was scared about missing out on time with Paul, I'm scared to miss out on my time with Declan. It's so precious, this time. HE is so precious.
I hope two years from now I will be having another one of these moments, except with my TWO boys playing with trucks and giving mommy hugs.......
I really really love our life right now so I have to keep reminding myself that it just gets better.....it only gets better.
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